And if you tell yourself otherwise, you’re lying.
I realised this the other day because I was feeling angry. I didn’t know why. There was no obvious incident, situation or circumstance. I felt angry.
And that made me think of the hulk.
“Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” Here’s a guy, Bruce Banner, he’s got everything going for him. And through some random accident he is given even more. He’s the strongest one there is. Yet all that power and strength becomes a curse because he becomes a victim to this emotion. This feeling of rage. And so the strongest being on the planet is reduced to a petulant pavlovian joke. A tragedy. The hulk’s biggest weakness is his belief that others control when and how he uses the power he has.
Look at the phrasing. The first part, “Don’t make me angry”. The power is given over to the other. When we say this, we’re framing it as though it’s beyond our control. Anger is not a foregone conclusion. It’s something we decide to manifest, even if that decision is at a sub-conscious level.
The second part is equally telling. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”. Less obvious, but the implied suggestion in the phrase is a loss of control, an acting out, and behavior that is un-sociable. Which is exactly what most people do when their anger overpowers them. They often do things without regard for the consequences, even if those consequences include some kind of self-harm.
Anger is a choice. So is acting in anger. Make it or don’t make it, but don’t lie to yourself about the cause. All that does is weaken you.
